WAITING AND DATING BY MYLES MUNROE

Waiting and Dating is such an enlightening and interesting book. Here are some things i took note of whilst reading the book.

So many people ask the question, "when am i ready to date?". Well, you are ready to date when you don't NEED to.

You get that? Basically at that point in your life when you regard dating as a matter of choice, rather than necessity...that point when you are complete and happy being single and don't necessary feel like if you don't date you would die,you are ready to date.

This book emphasises the need to first be alone, to love and enjoy your singleness,to find purpose, develop your spiritual life and then eventually start dating.

The next thing i learnt from this book is that:

The purpose of dating is FRIENDSHIP BUILDING

Now we have acquaintances, casual friends, close friends and finally "intimate friends".

Now we must note that true and intimate friends look out for each other's welfare.It is no longer "me me me", but "you you you". Whats up with you? How can you get better? Etc. Friendship is a result of hard work and the best way to make a friend is to be a friend.

True friendship, like true love focuses on the other person instead of the self.

So the third gist is that we have learnt many myths with regards to finding a life partner. These myths are not true for example:

It is nốt true that God doesn't have ONE special person for you. In reality, there are thousands of people who are potential mates for you due to similarities in personalities etc. and even after getting married, you would meet other people who would be attractive to you. Therefore we have been giving the power of choice and the word of God to guide us.

The world chooses based on physical appearance, social status, intellect and finance.Most time ignoring the most important which is spiritual.

The fourth gist is that there are three stages of intimacy.
First, spiritual intimacy where both parties share the same faith and can freely share with each other anything relating to God's dealing with them. Dating is a time to talk about spiritual fellowship.

The next stage is the soulical intimacy where you begin to learn about each others' interest, purpose, career goals, emotional make up, interests etc

Finally, the last stage is physical intimacy, which should only happen after becoming friends at the spiritual and soulical level.  Note that Marriage is the gate way to physical intimacy.

The fifth gist is that engagement is very serious. It is not a time for testing the waters, that js what dating is for. In fact, engagement is the beginning of marriage. Engaged couples are committed in an exclusive way except they are not yet free to have sex.

The engagement period is not a time for day dreaming. It is time to open eye, and start making physical and tangible preparation towards marriage. Where are we gonna leave? What jobs? How many kids? Learn how to cook? Plan finances etc. Marriage is a serious something and you need to prepare prepare prepare. Engaged couples are still not permitted to have sex.

The final gist is still on engagement:

Engagement is not about going to movies, holding hands, eating icecream,that's dating. of course, this can still happen during engagement but it goes much deeper.
Here are some pointers of what to do whilst engaged:

First, You must lay a strong spiritual foundation where Christ is the centre and you can intercede for one another.

Secondly, be stable economically. How would we spend our money,not my own, and your own rather our.

Thirdly, it is advisable that both of you reach your academic goals because getting married may impede that due to the work that follows marriage, if its not possible to attain the academic goals just yet, have a stable plan.

Thirdly, talk about what kind of parents you want to be.

Lastly, establish sexual standard,engagement does not mean marriage, it is only the beginning and so sex must be kept till the marriage covenant is finalised at the altar.

So engagement is different from dating in the sense that you guys are exclusive and are preparing actively towards marriage

I cant say all the gist inside the book, but i have tried.So if you have any questions or want to know more, go get the book and digest properly.
Waiting and Dating by Dr Myles Munroe. Great read.


Reviewer:Victory Osas.